The Most Important Thing You Can Do

Posted By on Feb 22, 2015 | 14 comments

I’m not going to get all philosophical and deep today. I know. I tend to do that sometimes. But this blog post will be one of the shortest I’ve written or ever will write simply because I just want to put the message out there.

There’s way too much blame going on in the world.

People constantly look to blame someone else or something else for their woes.

Recently, I watched blame as it tried to tear apart the high school soccer team I currently coach.

At halftime, I told the guys that blaming each other doesn’t get anything done. If you want to improve, you have to be constructive with your criticism, and more importantly, you have to take care of the things you can control.

I even told them that I could have done a better job coaching.

The truth is that none of us is perfect. I know, earth shattering cliche statement by yours truly.

But we aren’t. We don’t do anything perfectly. The only thing we’re perfect at is making messes. Or at least it seems like we make perfect messes from time to time.

What if we did something in place of blame? What if we thanked the people around us for the good they bring into our lives?

Take a big step back and look at your life. What do you do for others? Do you bring a light into the room and cast it all around? Or do you bring darkness everywhere you go?

Do you complain constantly? Be honest. Do you always try to find the negative in a situation?

It’s time for you to become the person others will be thankful to have around. And that can start by looking at those in your circle and thanking them for being who they are. Seriously, think for a few moments about some of the people in your life that you are most thankful for. What sets them apart?

Truly, one of the most important things you can do in life is to let those people know how thankful you are for them and why. Tell them what they bring to your world and how much you appreciate it.

When we focus on being grateful for others, we start to lose the tendency to be negative, blame people for things, and it opens up our hearts and minds for the possibility of greater happiness.

More than that, it puts good energy out into the world. When you tell someone why you’re thankful to have them in your life, they may very well go and do the same thing to someone else. What kind of chain reaction could that cause?

Through that little exercise, we can all learn some things about ourselves and start to make real changes for the better in all of us, and for the planet.

Go give it a try. Do it at least once a day for a week and see how you feel, and see how things change around you. Then come back here and share it in the comments. I’d love to hear about it.


  1. Thank you ! What a peaceful, loving and simple message.

    Anyone can do this if they care.

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    • Yep. Right there with you. And thanks for the nice comment.

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  2. The power of positive feedback is very important, and helping the person feel their efforts are improving the quality of the team overall!

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  3. I truly agree with this. When you’re not grateful, you tend to just complain (negative) about everything that you haven’t done or don’t have. I think that keeping a positive outlook and environment is all in your hands. There are times that you really have to push yourself to do the things that you find hard or totally can’t do to see how meaningful everyone around you is.

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    • It can be tough sometimes, especially when you’ve hit rock bottom. But like you suggested, the only thing we can do is push ourselves. Love this.

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  4. What works best for me is something that has been learned from others, and that is to ask yourself ” What should my Contribution be ?, or upon reflection, What was my Contribution? ” That works for any situation, even on job searches. A daily inventory of your actions based on what your contributions have been, positive, negative, supportive, encouraging, inclusive, acknowledging, sharing skill sets, or facilitating. Keep a journal, track your progress, and form an opinion of your personal contribution to your life.

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  5. I have found that when a person makes a mistake if you complain about it they just do the same thing over and over. If you give them constructive criticism it helps them improve. If you compliment them on their improvement it makes them even better. It also makes you a better person since you helped someone else.

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  6. Thank you for letting me know again what’s important to me. I have been a little negative lately and I need your shot in my arm.

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  7. Beautifully said. I totally agree!

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  8. The one that keeps me honest (as often as possible) is I’ve always believed in the “treat others as you would have them treat you.” Negative begets negative. And all that stuff. But I do truly believe all those things. I try to practice it as often as I can. I do catch myself and have to give myself a talking to when I replay what I sounded like or how those thoughts aren’t necessary and not nice. None of us are perfect, for sure. I think we all have to work on these things all the time. Most of us anyway. I don’t know how many times I’ve told someone, for various reasons, A baby is a baby is a baby. Usually regarding a race or religious situation. That one seems to make a real difference for some. And learn that not everyone is going to like you, so don’t get upset at them and be angry or insulted or let it fuel your insecurities.

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  9. Dear Mr. Dempsey,

    I’ve just finished “Secret of the Stones” and thoroughly enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to reading the remainder of the trilogy. Your blog entitled “The Most Important Thing You Can Do” was excellent. You’ve certainly put your education in Psychology and Counseling to good use. I’m sending it to my 20 year old Grandson, who is in the process of getting the upper hand on bipolar disorder, as well as working through some perceived parental issues. Thank you for the entertainment from your books and the excellent advice from your blog.
    Best regards,
    Vic Gregorie

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  10. It is refreshing to findc a a good, exciting, clean book to read these days. I appreciate your offer of a free starter library! Please retain your high standard of literature. Keep on writing, and I’ll keep on enjoying.

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